Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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