it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The convent might be a nice break from real life
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
