new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Can I color on your dick again?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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