I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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