YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
