i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
