at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
