I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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