I molested 6 butterflies tonight
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
His nipple licking is glorious
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