Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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