Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
