I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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