Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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