so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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