cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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