I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
