we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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