dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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