went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
