Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
