Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
