I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
