there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
you had me at cake vodka
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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