Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
