i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
