I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
