If that was your dad, he is hot
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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