Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
