Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
