K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
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