hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
