Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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