he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
