she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize