I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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