you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
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You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
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The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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