It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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