glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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