Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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