Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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