last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
God, I missed his penis.
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