DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
