I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
