Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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