Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So here I am, sexting at work.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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