it hurts more in the daytime
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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