Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
