you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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