i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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