So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
