The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
