I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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