Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
