my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
