I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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