oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Dear god my vagina.
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