her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
