i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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